wake me up when the moon starts shining.

At midnight, in the month of August. I awoke from a heavy, dreamless sleep to find myself soaked in the bright, cold pool of moonlight. Full moon filtered through my eyelids a bright, melancholic blue. Beneath me, the house was dark, silent, and shimmering. At that very moment, it was just me and the moon.…

beauty is terror

The patterns of emotion vary. It can be adoration, admiration, awe, anxiety, anger, craving, disgust, entrancement, excitement, relief, calmness, pain,… In the past, I thought that we must conquer our emotional feelings, to not let it interfere with our decision. We must not be swayed by our mental darkness - the meaningless, indecipherable emotional pain.…

stargazing

It was easy to leave. Sneaking out of the house, leaning in the car, driving at 70mph on highway out of the town. Étienne was waiting for me, as usual, in his old Corvette Stingray passed down from his mother. He gave me a slight smile when I was tiptoeing out of the house, closing…

‘name one hero who was happy’

“In the darkness, two shadows, reaching through the hopeless, heavy dusk. Their hands meet, and light spills in a flood, like a hundred golden urns pouring out the sun.” ‘Achilles’, I whispered. Even in the benighted darkness, his beauty still shone like a thousand suns, vital and bright, drawing my eyes against my will. His…

inside the drawers of memory

Every time something pops up in my head while I’m not in the mood for opening my computer, I type everything down in the “Notes” inside my phone. Things like what’s the weather today. How the sun rises up and then disappears behind the cloud. How the night sky touches my soul. Who I miss…

parallel planets

I didn’t mean to fall in love. I kept saying this to myself, over and over again. That I shouldn't fall in love. Not this soon, not after I was eventually able to move on from a long-lasting unrequited love. This should be the time I spend taking care of myself, and cherishing myself after…

our time

We live on the future: "tomorrow", "later on", "when you have made your way", "you will understand when you are old enough.", stuff like that. There are times when something that was once future turn into present, and then past in an instant. But sure there are times when we feel we have every time…

our masks

All of us, more or less, wear masks. Not just the face masks that we're obliged to wear during a global pandemic, but rather the masks of our being. Because without these masks we can't survive in this violent world. That is one thing that I can say with certainty in this uncertain world. What…

Love Your Writer’s Block

The writer’s block is like unpredictable weather, or extreme mood swings. Sometimes the vocabulary and feelings needed filled the system that was me, like a barn full of livestock. When I seek to put my thoughts and feelings into words, those animals begin to mill about, and the system crashes. At times I would stare…